Missing her

People are getting tired of me saying I miss my mom so I don’t say it around people anymore.  

I avoid places where I might bump into someone that knew her then I’ll have to explain what happened and then break down again in public. I cry when I’m alone so I dont make anyone uncomfortable.  

I avoid places she went because I’m not strong enough yet.   

I was hoping for a sign from her that she was still with me. Sounds silly I know. I’m grasping at straws here.  I caress her box of ashes everyday and tell her I love her and I miss her. 

I MISS HER SO MUCH. 

The way she said “oh ya” when I asked if she liked the food I made. The way she would come dancing out of her room when I played blurred lines. (Yes a 79 year old woman LOVED that song) 

Most days I really don’t want to be here anymore. 🦋

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8 thoughts on “Missing her

  1. Every time I find myself really missing my mom I let myself cry a little – it does hurt, and crying helps. Then I think about how she would feel if she knew that she was making me so sad and I know that it would make her cry if she knew that she was the cause of my sadness. It is so hard. It will be less hard as time goes on and I know that isn’t helpful right now, but it is true just the same. You need to find someone that you can talk to. Don’t be ashamed to cry and don’t worry if you make anyone uncomfortable. ((giant hug)) 🙂

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      1. he probably just feels helpless because you are hurting and he can’t help 🙂 my husband gets very frustrated when I’m ever sad about something, especially if I’m crying. He feels like he is failing me. Let him know sometimes you just need a hug. 🙂

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